Holistically. Every application is given a holistic review by holistic people who are trained to view every application through a holistic lens.
Founded in 2023, Woke Forest was established with a mission of not offending anyone and allowing anyone who may not be ready for academic rigor an opportunity to spend lots of money, whoops, we mean time exploring higher education. Even if you're offended by not being offended, we're the school for you since two wrongs make a right at Woke Forest!
Ahh! Triggered! Tests are the instruments of the devil. We're told they are highly racist, classist, and stressful. At Woke Forest, there are no metrics to gauge anything that might be an area of weakness for you. We've even removed all scales from the gym so that no one would feel they are overweight.
At Woke Forest, we feel that GPA is a great measurement of your true potential. We conveniently ignore any studies about GPA inflation, lower AP scores, and learning loss for students because, well, look at that gaudy GPA!
If your GPA isn't where you want it to be, we offer unlimited test retakes until you get a 100 on each test and a perfect GPA.
Holistically. Every application is viewed holistically by holistic people trained in the arts of holism to view each application as an individual holistic object that should be seen through a holistic lens.
Sure! We holistically view applications holistically. In order to do this, we have a Director of Obfuscation who ensures that we have the transparency of an opaque object.
Average number of exams? Well, zero. We strongly recommend that students take AP classes to get a GPA boost, but then never take the AP exam. This way, students who may have previously excelled in an AP course are now forced to learn at a snail's pace since so many of their classmates are unprepared for the class rigor.
We are the first university to offer an infinite number of degrees and programs. If you can think it up—bang!—it's your major, minor, and even a potential PhD!
The student-to-faculty ratio at Woke Forest is 1:Graham's Number; this ensures that students receive individual attention and support from their instructors (who are AI and programmed to be non-offensive).
In order to not offend anyone, all our classes are taught by invisible professors who do not talk. This way, no one can be triggered by anything that might run counter to what they believe or want to believe. Don't worry, at the end of the semester, all students get an A grade.
Well, "real" is a tricky definition. We'll definitely take your money and provide you with a diploma.
Copyright © 2023 Woke Forest - All Rights Reserved.
Powered by GoDaddy
We use cookies to analyze website traffic and optimize your website experience. By accepting our use of cookies, your data will be aggregated with all other user data.